I'm ALWAYS here
by WriterGirlKatie
Summary: This is a story I wrote 3 years ago so my English in it is quite bad but I still want you to give it a try. It starts with Kate being hurt by Josh. Will Castle be able to help and save her? Read and find out :)
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: This story is old and you probably will think that is sucks but still it's something I'm proud of and I wouldn't change anything. I know there are many mistakes but I don't wanna correct it, so please don't make comments about all these things.**_

No! No! No! I didn't want. Why did you always do that? Why I couldn't resist him? I didn't love him. I didn't want him. I've always loved Castle. Josh beat and raped me. I had so many bruises. I was so scared.

 **PRECINCT**

I stood before the murder board. I put on a long turtleneck, so nobody could see my bruises. It based so far. Elevator jingled. I knew it was Castle. I smiled to myself. When he came to me he gave me a coffee and I gave him a little smile. This case was a lot personally for me. It was a sniper. I've been shot by a sniper. Castle told me that he loved me. All these worries. Love for Castle. Case. Fights with Josh. Maltreatment. Raping. I wanted to run away from this. But how?

"Good morning, detective," Castle said handing me a coffee, "It is caffeine free, so you can sleep."  
"Good morning, Castle. Thank you," I replied.

"How are you?" he asked.  
"I'm fine," I said with faked a smile.  
"No, you're not. I know you. I know that this case is personally for you. Tell me," he said carefully.  
"I don't handle it good. I don't want to talk about it, "I whispered.  
"Okay," he replied and smiled.


	2. Chapter 2

The whole day I was nervous. I didn't know what to expect. Josh had come for me. In the evening, when we finished the paperwork, I sat with Castle at my table.  
"How do you feel?" Castle asked and grabbed my hand. I immediately pulled away from him.  
"I'm better now," I said and smiled a little. I felt a touch on my shoulder and my whole body began to shake.  
"Hi, honey," said Josh and kissed my hair, "Calm. I'll be there. Let's go home, come on," he said taking my hand and took my bag.  
"Tomorrow, Castle," I said.  
"Tomorrow, Beckett," he said and smiled.

When we were in the car, I began to think. I was afraid of what awaits me at home. This time we went to my apartment. As soon as he closed the door, he began to undress me. I tried to resist, but he was stronger than me.  
"Let me go!" I screamed.

"Shut up! Don't struggle! You know what you can expect!" he yelled and threw me on the bed. Violence he took of my clothes and then he slid to me violently. He firmly held my hips. I started to cry. I wanted away. When he came, he packed his things and went to his apartment. I curled up on the bed and cried quietly. I had new bruises. I started thinking about my mom. She wouldn't want me to let bother this, but I had no choice. Maybe I should told Castle. No! I couldn't. Josh would hurt him too. I thought long into the night, until I finally fell asleep from exhaustion. Naked. Beaten. Raped.


	3. Chapter 3

In the morning I woke up at 7 o'clock. I've already known these feelings. I put on a shirt, jacket and pants and went to the precinct. Castle was already waiting there. I thought about telling him of IT, but I immediately rejected it.  
"Good morning, Kate," he said and just held my hand. I looked at him and smiled slightly.  
"Good morning, Castle," I said quietly.  
"Kate, what's going on?" he said anxiously, "You are different these three months. You look scared and miserable. Tell me what's going on," he said and little squeezed my hand.  
"I can't tell you anything. But don't worry, I'm fine, "I said and I smiled falsely.

About 12 o'clock arrived Josh. Panic swept through my body and I was scared. I was afraid of him. Castle noticed that my body started to shake. He put his hand on my shoulder and whispered into my ear, "I'm here." When Josh came up to my desk he kissed me. I turned away from him and looked at Castle.  
"Is something wrong, sweetheart?" asked Josh and I heard that he's angry. I went closer to the Castle and he put his arm around my waist. Josh pulled me to him and my jacket fell on the floor. I had a T-shirt with short sleeves. My bruises were seen and I felt tears in my eyes. Josh took my wrists and squeezed them hard.

"I told you to wear long sleeves bitch!" he yelled and gave me a fist. Castle grabbed me and hugged me. Josh recovered and tried to grab me. I started to cry and I felt Rick's hand on my hair. I was scared. I didn't want him to hurt me again. I started to shake. My knees buckled, but Castle caught me and took me in his arms and carried me away. After a moment in his arms I fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

I woke up in the big bed. I wasn't at home. I didn't know what time it is or how long I slept. I was wearing only my underwear and shirt. I touched my cheek. It hurt. I sat up in bed and looked around. Castle appeared in the doorway. He smiled at me and sat down on bed. He grabbed my hand.

"How long have I been asleep?" I asked still sleepily.  
"Just a few hours. I brought you out of the precinct. I've done for you some things," he said squeezing my hand.  
"What?" I asked incredulously.

"Espo and Ryan arrested Josh and they accused him of domestic violence. I took you into the restroom and then I went to Gates. She was extremely nice to me," he said significantly, and I smiled a little," She gave you 14 days holiday. I asked my mom to get Alexis to herself. I don't want Alexis to see you in this state. She's only 5. She is clever, but she should have a lot of questions. I don't want you to have much stress. You will now stay here and I'll take care of you," he said gravely with both hands grabbed mine and deeply looked into my eyes.  
"Thank you, but I can handle it," I whispered.

"I will not argue with you. You stay here. But there's something I need from you," he said. I was scared. I was afraid that he might want sex from me. I backed on the bed away from him and waited for his reaction.

"Don't be scared. I won't hurt you. When I was taking off your pants, I noticed that you have a lot of bruises. I just want to know what Josh did to you?" he asked. When I started to think about the events of the past three months, my heart started beating faster. Then I had dizzy, and the last thing I felt was, as my head hit the pillow and immediately after Rick's hand on my hair. I heard his voice calling my name and trying to wake me up.


	5. Chapter 5

When I woke again, Rick was sitting beside me on the bed, holding my hand and smiling slightly. I felt embarrassed. I fainted just at his question.  
"Hey," he whispered.  
"I'm sorry," I stammered quickly. He put his finger on my lips and smiled.

"Don't be sorry. That's okay. There is so much on you. If you don't want to speak now, go take a shower and I'll lend you some clothes and cook your dinner, okay?" he said seriously, and I just nodded. Rick got out of bed and out of the closet he handed me his shirt and shorts. I thanked him and went to the bathroom. When I stripped to my underwear, I was looked in the mirror and watched my battered body. At the edge of the sink, I saw blade. I thought this might be a solution. I sat on the edge of the tub and I put the razor on my wrist. Blade disrupted my skin and blood began to drip onto the floor. Rick without knocking went into the bathroom and immediately grabbed the blade from his hand and threw it on the ground. I started to cry and he hugged me. I was afraid that he will scream, but he didn't. After a few minutes he released me from his hg and fixed my injured wrist.

"Kate, please talk to me," he said and looked deep in my eyes, "I know you're scared, but you're safe, and while I am with you, you'll be safe," he said seriously.  
"Can I take a shower first?" I asked quietly. He answered yes and said, "Just don't hurt yourself again please." I smiled at him, and then he left. In 15 minutes I came to him in the living room and sat on the couch. He sat next to me and grabbed my hands.  
"Speak only if you want," he said soothingly. I took a deep breath and I felt my eyes filling with tears.


	6. Chapter 6

"After the shooting, I had three months to recover. All the time I didn't have sex with Josh. Then he told me that I'm all right. He wanted to make it up somehow, but I still didn't want to. When I was raped for the first time, he liked it. Then he raped me regularly. I fought him, but every time he was stronger than me. I fell asleep alone and naked. I was terribly afraid of him, but I couldn't tell anyone," I said, and started to cry. Rick pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly.

"Kate, how often he did it?" he asked worriedly.  
"At first it was only once or twice a week, but then it was at least five times a week. Rick, please I don't want him to hurt me," I said sobbing and I buried my head in his chest.  
"Stop worrying. I'll be here. I want you to be safe. You stay here. I'll help you get out of it," he whispered, pulling me away from me smiled. He took my hand and led me to the table. We ate together and then I put the plates in the dishwasher.

"Tonight I'll sleep on the couch. You can lie down in my bed," he said as I sat back to the table.  
"No, I can't."  
"You can and do it, Kate. You need to finally sleep well," he said with a smile. I couldn't smile.  
"Castle, I'll sleep on the couch. Sleep in your bed," I whispered.

"I don't want to argue with you. Go to my bed and get some sleep. I'll leave you alone," he said. I nodded and went into the bedroom. I fell asleep almost immediately.

I woke up with a yank. I had a nightmare, again. I looked at the clock. It was 3am. I got out of bed and went into the living room for the Castle. He slept. I sat next to him.  
"Castle," I whispered, and he just woke up.  
"Is something wrong, Kate?" he asked.  
"Can I ask you something?" I asked and he nodded, "Will you lay to bed with me?"  
"Sure." He smiled and we went back into the bedroom together. When we lied down beside each other, Rick grabbed my hand.  
"Why do you want me to be here?" he asked cautiously while squeezed my hand.


	7. Chapter 7

"I had a nightmare and I'm scared. Just I want to ask you something. Please don't touch me," I whispered, and I pulled back on the edge of the bed.  
"Before, I hugged you and you didn't mind it," he said a little annoyed.  
"I'm sorry. Do not be angry, please. I was upset, so I let you do it." He smiled and covered me with a blanket.  
"I'm not mad at you. Sleep tight," he said and after a moment we both fell asleep.  
I don't know how many hours were when I woke up. Rick was in bed and the kitchen wafted beautiful fragrance. I got up and followed him.  
"Good morning," he said cheerfully.  
"Good morning," I said and for the first time in a long time, I smiled sincerely.  
"You should eat much. Today I take you to the hospital. I need doctors to check you. "

"I don't want to, Castle. I'm fine," I said, and I sat down at the table. I ran my fingers along the edge, and I tried to figure out how to convince him that I don't go anywhere.  
"He raped you. The doctor will only investigate if you're okay. You have a lot of bruises. Let me help you," he said, and took two steps in my direction. I stood up. He made two more steps, so he was almost to me. I was a little afraid of him. I loved him. I knew that he loves me too and I was hoping that he could never hurt me. My fear gradually changed to anger. Suddenly I wanted to cry and shout at him. I had no idea I could do it, but before I knew it, something happened.

"I don't want to go anywhere! I'm fine! Why, the hell, don't you let me be?!" I yelled at him.  
"Do not yell at me! You are not right and you know it!" he yelled back at me. My imaginary dam overflowed. I collapsed on the floor and I started to cry. I hoped and I also didn't want him to hug me. Rick knelt on the floor and watched me.  
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't yell at you. Don't cry, please. I meant it well," he said, holding his hand out. I shook my head and I stand.  
"Okay, I'll go," I said between sobs. In the bedroom, I changed into my pants, but I kept his shirt. Then we just got into the car. All the way to the hospital we were both silent.


	8. Chapter 8

When we arrived at the gynecology, we sat on the chair. I bit my lip. Again, I felt fear. I didn't want to someone touch me especially not on the crotch. Now I couldn't back out. Rick sat next to me and trying to figure out what I was thinking about. In about 15 minutes the nurse called us. We went inside and the doctor told me to undress and lie down on the bed. When I wore a shirt and bra, I stand to Rick.  
"Miss, please lie down," said the doctor.

"You know, the problem is that Kate was being raped for three months," said Rick. I took a deep breath and slowly lay down on the bed. Rick asked me if he could stay. I agreed. Although I couldn't take his touch, I wanted him to be with me. He sat beside the bed and the whole time he was looking in my eyes. I saw in his eyes the love and care he felt for me. Doctor spread my legs and began to control me. He wanted to touch me when I got a panic attack and tried to flee. The doctor took an injection and poked me sedatives. Rick stroked my hair over and I just looked at him sadly.

"I'm sorry, but you know there was no other way," the doctor apologized and continued examination.  
Right after that he told me that I will stay a few days in hospital and psychologist will come and talk to me. I nodded. Right after that, we went with Rick to my apartment and we packed some clothes. I could not think about anything. Everything was in a fog. I was in a daze.  
"Kate?" said Rick a little shook with me. I did not realize that we're back in the hospital. I sat in bed. Rick looked worried. I smiled a little.

"Thank you. You do not have to be here," I whispered.  
"But I want to be here. I want to be here with you. You probably have no idea how much you mean to me, do you?" I shook my head and he took my hand. Under his touch, I got another panic attack. Rick grabbed my hand. I started to cry.  
"Please don't cry. I hate when you cry," he said anxiously. I calmed down and tried to catch my breath. I remembered what Rick said when I was shot.  
"Castle ... I ..." was all I could say before my voice broke.  
"Me first. Kate, I ... "


	9. Chapter 9

"I remember everything!" I interrupted him. He was in shock and just stared at me.  
"I remember everything you said when I was shot," I whispered. Rick rubbed his hair and got up from the bed. He began to walk around the room and thinking.  
"You don't feel the same thing, right? That's why you didn't say anything," he said and he had tears in his eyes.  
"Castle. I love you," I cried," Maybe now is not the right time, but I know that I love you," I said. He sat back to me and grabbed my hand. We were both breathing heavily and we looked into each other's eyes. I had no idea what to expect for the reply.  
"I love you, Kate," he said squeezing my hand, "Probably I cannot kiss you, can I?" he asked hopefully.

"No. I'm sorry," I whispered and hugged him. He kissed my hair and me on the back. He tried to calm me down. It worked. In his arms after months of violent I finally relaxed. I let my body full weight to lean on his. He hugged me more tightly and stroked my hair. He hugged me with big need, love and care. He repeatedly told me that I was important to him. Finally, I believe that. We loved each other. Only this mattered. On our love. Finally, we were together.  
"Kate, finally. I've waited for this moment so long," he whispered in my ear and kissed my neck. I froze and I pushed him away. I was shaking.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Don't be scared, please. I didn't mean to startle you," he said smiling, "I must learn to predict your reaction. You have to stop me, if you don't like something. I cannot tell where you do not like my touch." I smiled and nodded. I was so very happy. He was with me and did not want anything more. He neither tried to kiss me. He wanted to give me time to handle what happened to me. I don't know how it happened, but to my mind got Josh. I didn't want to meet him ever again. I thought that with him I would have to meet in court.  
"Will you try to ask the doctor to let me go home tomorrow?" I asked and I smiled.  
"Anything for you. Alexis will stay with my mom, so we can talk. You need therapy must, but we will also talk together," he said seriously.  
"Let Alexis home. I'll take care of her, you can write and I'll play with her. I really like her, "I said with a big smile on my face. He pulled me into his arms and buried his nose in my hair. I was tired. I fell asleep in his arms and he stroked my hair.


	10. Chapter 10

I woke up in the evening. Rick held me in his arms and slept. Slowly, not to wake him up, I pushed him away and went into the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked awful. I had messy hair and I had tears in my eyes. I washed my face and went back into the room. Rick sat on the bed packing bag and smiling.  
"I'm taking you home. Doctor was here and you can go home. The tests are good. I called my mom and Alexis is already waiting for us at home," he said happily. I ran into his arms and hugged him tight.  
"Wait, Alexis is home alone?" I asked a little frightened and he nodded. I quickly took my clothes to the bathroom and I changed. Right then, I took the bag and hand in hand with Rick, we went to the car and we drove home. When Rick unlocked the door, Alexis got up from the couch and hugged Castle and then me.

"Katie," she exclaimed and hugged me tighter, "Grandma said that now you will be here with us. Is that true?" she asked. I took her in my arms and I nodded. Alexis kissed me on the cheek. I was surprised that it didn't do anything with me. Her touch doesn't bother me. So why the hell I couldn't tolerate Rick's touch?! I put Alexis on the ground and she ran into the room. Rick smiled at me.  
"Are you okay?" he asked and walked towards me. He put his arms around my waist.  
"Yea. I'll put Alexis to bed, "I said and I went into the room. Alexis was lying in bed and looking at photos. I sat next to her and I smiled.  
"Kate, do you love me?" Alexis asked after a moment. I was surprised. I stroked her hair.  
"I love you. Never ever ask me on this again. I love you and I always will. Always, "I whispered in her ear and gave her a kiss on the forehead, "Good night. Sleep well, honey, "I covered it with a blanket and she gave me a kiss on the cheek. I went out and closed the door. Rick stood at the door and watched me. I took his hand and led him down to the bedroom. We sat down on the bed.

"You're checking me?" I asked curiously.  
"No. I wanted to see how Alexis will react at you. She loves you and so do I, "he said, and shoved me a lock of hair behind my ear. I pulled away from him and shook my head. Rick held my hand and he was doing circles on my hand.  
"Don't worry. You overcame your fear. I'm proud of you," he said. I smiled and put my head on his shoulder.  
"I do not want to sleep with you tonight in bed. I want to limit our touches. Do not be mad at me," I whispered and he gently squeezed my hand. I took the blanket and pillow and all the night I slept in the living room on the couch.


	11. Chapter 11

Touch woke me up. I opened my eyes. Alexis stood by me and tears ran down her tears. I sat and she sat on my lap. I stroked her hair.  
"What's wrong?" I asked her and she hugged me. "What's wrong?" I asked again. Alexis looked at me sadly and began to play with my hair.  
"My father told me that your boyfriend was hurting you, hitting you and raping you," she said sobbing.  
"You know what that means rape?" I said surprised and she nodded. I hugged her and I started to cry. Alexis hugged and stroked me on the hair. Hers touch soothed me. She was so innocent. With Rick I felt safe too, but I was not allowed him to touch me. Maybe that bothered him.  
"Don't cry, Katie. You deserve to be happy. You and my dad, do you love each other?" she asked. I wiped my tears and I smiled.

"We do. I love your father. And you're a sweet girl. I remember when you were little. You were still with me and cuddled to me and your dad looked at us. You were so cute and still you are," I said and I registered Rick looking at us. He came closer to us and sat down on the couch. Alexis sat between us and grabbed my and Rick's hand. She smiled, then got up and ran to the kitchen. I stood up and together we prepared breakfast. Meanwhile, Rick was in the office and on the phone. When we sat down together at the table and began to eat, Rick pulled out a phone and showed me a message. It was from Esposito. He wrote me to come to the precinct and testify, but only if I feel on it.  
"I'll go there," I said when I was putting the plates in the dishwasher.

"You don't have to, if you don't want to," said Rick. I took Alexis in my arms and kissed her on the cheek.  
"I'll be fine. I can do it, don't worry," I said with a smile.  
"Okay Katherine," Rick whispered.  
"Why Katherine?" we asked with Alexis at the same time.  
"Because it's your name, and because I love you," he said seriously.  
"You're so cute together," Alexis said, and laughed. I blushed a little, I put her on the ground. Then I quickly showered and dressed, I said goodbye to Alexis and Rick and I went to the precinct.


	12. Chapter 12

All the way, I had a strange feeling in her stomach. I wasn't at the precinct since Josh attacked me. I was biting my lip. As soon as I got off the elevator, I saw Espo and Ryan. Espo immediately led me to an interrogation room. I sat down on a chair and joined my hands.  
"Beckett, shall we?" he asked and I nodded.  
"Gates said that we have recorded even though you're a victim. Tell me everything from the beginning," he said and smiled at me.

"It started three months after I returned home from the hospital. Throughout those three months, when I was recovering, I didn't have sex with him. After three months, I was physically fine and he wanted me to make it up. When he raped me for the first time, he hit me and then he did it. When he finished, let me lie on the bed. He told me: "Don't say this to anyone and wear long sleeves!" The next day he did it again and then again. I tried to fight with him, but couldn't. He liked it, so he was doing it at least five times a week next three months. You know the rest. Here in the precinct, as he attacked me," I said with all my mental strength. Tears were falling down my cheek and my hands were shaking. Espo wanted to grab my hand. At that moment I realized that I couldn't tolerate masculine touch. I quickly ran into a corner. I collapsed on the floor and I started to cry. Ryan ran into the room and with Esposito sat down to me. He handed me a tissue. I thanked him and slowly lifted.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. They both nodded. I took a sweatshirt and went back to the Castle. Alexis was sitting on the couch and watching Frozen. Rick was sitting in his office and wrote. I hugged Alexis and I went after him.  
"Hi. How was it?" he asked me and smiled. I sat in the chair.  
"I collapsed. I told everything, but then Espo wanted to touch me and I explored," I whispered and lowered my head. Rick came up to me and put his hand on my back. I winced a little, but I let him. His fingers began to move over my spine.  
"Is it nice?" he asked.

Měli jste na mysli: „Omlouvám se," zašeptala jsem. Oba _**přikývla**_. Vzala jsem si mikinu a odjela jsem zpátky ke Castleovi. Alexis seděla na gauči a koukala na Frozen. Rick seděl v pracovně a psal. Objala jsem Alexis a šla jsem za ním. „Ahoj. Jak to šlo?" zeptal se mě a usmál se. Sedla jsem si do křesla. „Zhroutila jsem se. Řekla jsem všechno, ale potom jsem vybuchla, když se mě chtěl Espo dotknout," zašeptala jsem a sklonila jsem hlavu. Rick ke mně přišel a položil mi ruku na záda. Trochu jsem sebou škubla, ale nechala jsem ho. Začal mi prsty přejíždět po páteři. „Je to příjemný?" zeptal se.

"Hmm," I muttered and then I hugged him. He slowly put both hands on his back and pulled me to him. I buried my head into his neck. I was crying.  
"Forgive me. I'm so sorry," I whispered and he kissed my hair.  
"You are just apologizing. For what?" he asked curiously.  
"I didn't let touch me. Now you can. It's much nicer, and I need your touch," I said. Rick stroked me on the cheek and then kissed me softly. Someone laughed behind us.


	13. Chapter 13

Alexis ran up to us and hugged us. I gave her a kiss on the forehead and she immediately ran back into the living room. We looked at each other and then we started laughing. I sat on Rick's lap and he hugged me around the waist. I leaned over and kissed him on the neck. He grabbed me around my back and then we both fell to the ground. We laughed and for a moment we were lying on the ground. I yawned and rubbed my eyes.  
"Do you want to go to sleep for a while?" asked Rick, then got up and took me in his arms. I nodded and buried my head in his chest. I was almost asleep when he carried me into the bedroom. I heard Alexis, as she says she wants to be with me, and then I slept.  
Rick kissed me on the cheek and I woke up. He took my hand and we snuggled together.

"What time is it?" I asked.  
"Almost 22. Alexis is sleeping. We watched together on fairytales and then she fell asleep," he said with a smile. I put her arms around his neck and we kissed. Just lips on lips. Although it was not much, it was intimate and beautiful. Rick put his hands around my back and hugged me tighter. I pushed him away and smiled.

"I'll go take a shower. Don't even think to touch the doorknob," I said. He nodded with a serious expression and laughed. I took pants and his shirt and I locked the door behind him. I put my stuff down and then I undress. I still had bruises on ribs and chest. It hurt. I climbed into the shower and let the water streams to wash all my injury and worries. I washed my hair. I dressed in T-shirts and bathrobe. Rick waited on the bed and playing Angry Birds on his phone. I smiled at his childishness. He put down the phone. I sat next to him on the bed and he carefully dabbed my hair with a towel.

"Now I go. In the meantime, here you find something or you can select a movie," he said, taking his stuffs and went to the bathroom. I made the bed and I settled pillows. When he came, I lay curled up on the bed and examined album with photos of Alexis. I looked up at him and he gave me a dazzling smile. He took the album from my hand and put it back on the shelf. He laid down next to me and put his hand on my hip. I had darkened before my eyes. I quickly took off my robe, shirt and pants. I was completely naked in front of him, but I didn't realize it.

"Come on! Fuck me! Do it! Do the one thing you want from me!" I screamed at him.


	14. Chapter 14

Rick grabbed my hand and dragged me into the bathroom. He put me in the shower and turned cold water on. I yelled and jumped out of the shower, but he pushed me back under the cold water. When helped me climb off of the shower, he wrapped a towel around me, took me in his arms and carried me to bed. I was in shock and quiet. He went into the kitchen for a moment. When he returned, he handed me a glass of water. I drank and I put the glass on the nightstand.

"Kate," he said calmly and took my hand, "I don't want anything from you. I don't want to have sex with you, not now. Come on, talk to me," he said. I sat into his lap, and he wrapped his arms around me. I rested my head on his chest, and I let the water out of my hair flowing down to his shirt. I needed to calm down. We just sat there in silence. Rick stroked my hair and face and I breathed deeply. We sat like a couple of minutes before I broke the silence.

"Sorry," I whispered, and I pressed closer to him, "I don't know what happened. I had the darkness before my eyes and then I realized I'm standing in the shower," I said quickly.  
"Hey, it's okay. You just need therapy. I know an excellent psychologist. His name is Neal. He will help you," he said soothingly and kissed my hair. I nodded, drank water again.  
"Thank you. Will you come to the first meeting with me?" I asked.

"I can come with you for more meetings, but I want you to go there. You'll feel better. Oh and by the way you're beautiful when you're naked," he said. I smiled and kissed him. He gave it back to me and held me under my back. Then we lied down and fell asleep hugging each other.

The next day morning was normal. Right after lunch we went to Neal. He was a tall man with brown hair and green eyes. He greeted me and Rick and began to talk to me. First I had to tell everything, then he asked various questions and I answered. At the end of the session he gave us advice.

"You are a beautiful couple, Rick. And you, miss Beckett, are sweet and nice woman. Make a nice weekend. Go to dinner or watch a movie and enjoy it. You both need to calm down. Especially a lot of talk together, cuddling together, as much as Kate allows, and don't let the injury to obstruct you from normal life. Now it's gone," he said, and shook first my hand and then Rick's.

"Thank you, Neal. I feel better now and we definitely abide to your advice," I said with a sincere smile. Rick took my hand. We said our goodbyes and we left for home. On the way we picked Alexis from kindergarten. Alexis went to her room and drew. Me and Castle curled up together on the couch. He stroked my hair and after every fifth caress kissed me on cheek. I was happy. Although it was not only the first session, it helped me. I felt much better than the previous day. Weekend started in two days. We agreed that Alexis will be with Martha, and me and Rick will go to dinner and watch a movie.


	15. Chapter 15

On Friday night I was lying with Alexis on the ground and looking at the book. The door opened. Martha stood there with open arms. Alexis got up and ran to her. I stood and Rick came out of the kitchen. I felt like part of their family. Castle came to me and put his arm around my waist.  
"So here I am, sweethearts. Alexis, go get your things and we will go to me," said Martha and Alexis ran into the room," So what do you two plan?" she asked us.  
"Tomorrow we go to dinner and on Sunday we go to the cinema. Would you mind if you took Alexis to kindergarten on Monday? In the afternoon me or Kate will go for her," Rick said with a dog eyes. I smiled and rolled my eyes.

"Okay," said Martha. Alexis went up the stairs and tripped. I quickly ran up the stairs and I grabbed her. She hugged me and cried a little. I stroked her hair.  
"Alexis, are you okay?" I asked her. She nodded. I put her down and she went to Martha. She took her hand, said goodbye to us and left. I was relieved.  
"For god's sake. I was so scared. I thought that something happened to her," I said and sat on the couch. Rick nodded and went into the kitchen. He prepared food on the table. I went to him and hugged him from behind. He turned and kissed me on the cheek.  
"Would you like some help?" I asked him.  
"No. Sit down. Would you like water or wine?"

"Water, thanks." He poured two glasses of water and put it on the table. He sat across from me, and together we ate. After dinner, I cleaned up the dishes and the love of my life chosen film. We were curled up on the couch and covered with a blanket. We were watching a horror movie, but after about half Castle had to shut it down because of me.  
When we showered, we laid in bed and I rested my head on his chest. Rick stroked me on the back and sniffed my hair. I closed my eyes and after a short time I was half asleep. Rick lifted me a little bit and put me on the pillow. I woke up and looked at him tiredly.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," he whispered. I put my finger to his lips.  
"That's okay. I'm just a little tired," I whispered back.  
"A little? Are you kidding me?" said jokingly Rick. I nodded and closed my eyes again. Castle grabbed my hand and we fell asleep. We were both exhausted. He was the love of my life. I was so happy with him. And I felt that he loves me and doesn't want to push at me in certain ways.


	16. Chapter 16

On Saturday night I wore a blue dress and Castle blue shirt. We went into Q3. When we returned home, we changed clothes and went for a walk. Outside we danced for a while. Rick told me jokes and I laughed at them. We talked a lot like Neal said. It was late when we arrived back. I took a quick shower and I lay in bed. Rick also showered and lay down next to me. For a moment we looked into each other's eyes before I closed my eyes and I fell asleep.

I woke up at about 2 in the morning. I quickly got up out of bed and I ran to the bathroom. I threw up everything I ate that evening. Rick knelt behind me and made me a ponytail. Then he stroked my back and waited. I threw up two more time. He handed me a glass of water. I drank and brushed my teeth. Castle supported me and helped me back to bed.  
"Feeling better?" he asked. I nodded and let my head fall on the pillow. He touched my forehead and looked worried at me.

"You have a fever. Katherine, I don't like it. Right in the morning I'll take you to the hospital, but first I need to ask you something," he said and grabbed my hand. I nodded and squeezed his hand.  
"Can you be pregnant?" he asked and almost immediately he regretted his questions. The color disappeared from my face and I felt little dizzy.  
"No," I said," I'm on pills," I whispered. Rick hugged me and kissed me on the ear.  
"I'm sorry. I won't ask you something like that," he said. We were curled up together and fell asleep. During the night, I threw up once again.

In the morning Rick took me to the hospital. The nurse took my blood, then she sent us out into the corridor. I sat down beside him, and I put my head in Rick's lap. He stroked me on the back. I was exhausted, so I fell asleep.  
Rick woke me when he kissed my hair.  
"Beckett, wake up," he whispered. I raised my head and wearily I smiled at him.  
"How do I look? Am I very disheveled?" I asked.

"No. You look wonderful as always. Doctors already have the results come, "he took my hand and we walked to the ambulance.  
"So Miss Beckett, you have a strong food poisoning. I'll give you antibiotics and you will feel better. Mainly you need a lot of rest," the doctor said handing me a paper and then we left. At home, I took the first pill and lay on the couch. Castle lay behind me and held his arms around me.


	17. Chapter 17

"Rest," Rick said and kissed me on the top of my head, "If you need to vomit, tell me."  
"Thank you," I whispered, "And I'm sorry. I ruined our plans today." Rick put his finger to my lips and shook his head. I closed my eyes and after a while I fell asleep.

The next three days I spent in bed or on the couch. I didn't eat. I was not hungry and didn't want to eat. Rick tried to force me, but I always refused. I played with Alexis. We talked, we viewed the photos and we watched movies. Me and Castle, we fondled and we talked a lot. I told him how I feel. I was very happy, but I wanted to go to work. I missed the acction, which brought me my job. I sat in bed and I was looking e-mails from the precinct. Rick sat next to me and staring at me.

"I want to go to work," I said.  
"Forget. You are not healthy and are not mentally right," he said.  
"I'm healthy and I can deal with the psyche. Please," I said with a puppy eyes.  
"Okay. I don't want to argue. Promise me that you'll be careful," he said seriously. I kissed him.

"I will. Thanks," I just hugged him and gave him kiss on cheek," I'll go tomorrow," I said happily. I got up out of bed and started to prepare clothes.  
"So you have to promise me that you will eat. For the last four days you have eaten almost nothing," said Rick and I could hear in his voice concern, care and love.  
"Don't worry about me. I will eat," I lied.  
"Okay, Detective Beckett," he said laughing.  
"Thank you, writer Richard Castle," I said with a laugh.

In the morning I dressed in jacket, shirt and jeans. I gave Alexis kiss and Rick's long gentle kiss and I went to the precinct. Of course without breakfast. When I came out of the elevator, everyone smiled at me and there was even a momentary applause. Espo and Ryan welcomed me with big hug. I thanked him and immediately went to work on a new case. It was a woman, 35 years old. Before her death she had been raped. I shuddered. I knew that the return will be psychologically difficult, but I didn't expect that the first case will be raped woman. I thought about what happened to me, but I deleted it in my head and I'd rather fall on the job. First I made coffee to replace breakfast somehow. Then there was just concentrating. Evidence. Suspects and everything around.


	18. Chapter 18

Two weeks passed. I was in two sessions with Neal and I was getting better. Therapy helped me a lot. The whole two weeks I hadn't eaten. I tried to hide it from Rick, but I knew that he knows that I don't eat. At first he forced me to eat, and then he begged me to eat, but I couldn't. If I wanted to let him touch me, I couldn't eat. I stopped eating because I couldn't bear the pain of that experience with Josh. I still blamed that he raped me. Maybe I should have been differently and do other things. Neal had told me that it was not true and it isn't my fault, but I was still not sure. Relationship with Rick developed well and Alexis like me from day to day more. I started to be tired, because my body was starving. I tried to ignore it, but I started to fall asleep during the day. Several times I fell asleep at the precinct and at home. Rick noticed this, but didn't tell me anything.

I drove home from the precinct. I had a challenging day full of stress. I had a few cups of coffee and water so I wouldn't be tired or hungry. I gave me hands off of the wheel and my head fell on my shoulder. I woke up after a few seconds. I drove me against the truck. I didn't manage to escape. The last thing I remember was light and almost immediately a strong impact.  
I woke up in the hospital. I was on the devices. I was tired that I could barely keep my eyes open. The whole body hurt me. I gathered all my strength and twisted my head. Rick was sitting in chair and he was sleeping. He had swollen and red eyes from crying. I moved my hand his way and I smiled as much as I could.

"Castle," I whispered. It surprised me how weak voice I had. Rick woke up, grabbed my hand and kissed it on the back. He stroked my hair and face.  
"Kate," he whispered, his eyes were full of tears," I was so worried about you. You had a car accident," he said and started crying completely. I grabbed his hand and he squeezed it. We looked in each other's eyes. I've tried to keep my eyes open, but I was too tired. Rick kissed me lightly on the lips.  
"Sleep, beauty," he whispered.  
"How am I?" I asked in a whisper.

"You were bleeding in the stomach and you've got a lot of bruises and about 5 strongly impingement ribs. Doctors were afraid of losing you. You've lost a lot of blood. Katherine, I was so worried about you. You cannot even imagine it. Fortunately, the doctor said you'll be fine. Because you don't eat, you had the accident. You have to eat, otherwise I'll have to shut you in a psychiatric hospital," he said.  
"No! Please! I don't want to!" I exclaimed with tears.  
"Calm down. If you start eating, you are not going anywhere. Now sleep," he said kissing me on the back of my hand. I gently nodded and closed my eyes. For a moment I felt Rick's hand on my head, but after about 10 minutes I tuned out and I fell asleep.


	19. Chapter 19

I spent 5 days in the hospital. I slept a lot, but Rick talked to me. Alexis also was visiting and we played. When I returned home, Rick was forcing me to eat. I tried only for him, but it was very difficult. I bear it for 14 days. At the precinct, I just did the papers because Gates didn't let me work harder. As soon as Rick stopped watching at me, I stopped eating. I hid it. Rick knew nothing. I didn't bother him. I was tired. I had no energy to work and everything in life. We were together a month and a half. Our relationship was the best thing that ever happened to me.

When we were together three months, I was starving for a month and a half. I was very tired. With Castle, we had almost no romance because of me. He didn't notice that I don't eat again. Only once he said that I lost weight when he held me in his arms. I told him no and we didn't more talked about it.  
I was sitting at my desk at the precinct. Rick was at home because he had to write. I filled the form. Espo was to get murder suspect. The victim was a man, 45 years old, two gunshots to the head. Our suspect was the last person who saw the murdered man alive.

Before Espo came, I had the coffee. I was tired and my head ached. When they arrived, I went into the interrogation room. I sat on a chair and spread my papers. I began to ask some different questions. Ryan knocked on the door. I got up and I made a step toward the door. I felt dizzy and then I collapsed. Espo was trying to catch me, but he didn't make it. Ryan rammed the door and they both knelt at me. Espo was slapping my cheeks little bit.  
"Kate! Beckett! Wake up!" shouted Espo. I looked at him with my tired eyes. Espo took me into his arms and carried me into the restroom.

"Hey bro, give her some sugar," said Espo. Ryan took the sugar and put it in my mouth. I was too weak to defend myself. I curled up in a chair. Espo put a blanket over me and I closed my eyes.  
"We need to call Castle," said Ryan.  
"Sure, we have to. Beckett doesn't eat and thinks that nobody noticed it," said Espo and took the phone.  
"Castle. Come for Beckett. She collapsed here ... Yeah ...Okay," he said.  
"In 10 minutes he will be here. We have to inform him. Kate needs to heal. She still suffers rape. She needs help," agreed the two. I didn't perceive it. I was thinking about Castle and Alexis. After a while I fell asleep.


	20. Chapter 20

The whole night we yelled at each other. I didn't want to go anywhere. I promised that I'll eat, but Castle didn't believe me. In the morning I cried. Rick hugged me. Eventually Rick persuaded me that it will be better if I go. I packed my things and went to car. When Rick came and sat next to me, he grabbed my hand.  
"Kate, you're going to be there for a month. I've already finished the paperwork. After two weeks I'll be able to take home for the weekend and in two weeks you're out," he said. I lowered my head and started to cry. Rick hugged me again and patted me on the back.  
"Are you still mad at me?" he asked and I nodded.  
"I am but just a little. I need to go there. Will you call me?" I asked sadly.  
"I will, I swear. Here we go," he said and we went on the road.

The journey lasted about an hour. I was tired and sad. Rick was talking with me. As soon as we reached the place, Rick registered me and it was time to say goodbye. With Alexis, luckily, I said goodbye previous afternoon. Again I was crying and I ran quickly to Rick. Rick hugged me and began cry too.

"You can do it. I believe you," said Rick crying. We hugged for more time. Then we took a long kiss. I took the bag and nurse led me to the room. I got a paper detailing the therapy and meals. During the day were 5 meals and one therapy. I had to get involved right from lunch. For me it was very challenging. At first I resisted, but the nurses gave me sedatives and fed me forcibly. Then I went back to my room, I sat on the bed and I took my phone. Castle installed Angry Birds to my phone, so when I started playing, I immediately remember at him.

At afternoon and evening was another meal. I ate alone, but I didn't eat everything. In the evening I had a first therapy. The doctor talked to me. I had to tell my story. Doctor was nice and kind. She held my hand and looked me in the eyes. At the end of therapy, I had tears in my eyes. When I took a bath, I lay in bed. Again I played Angry Birds and I thought about Rick.

At 22, I received two text messages. One was from the guys from the precinct and the other from the Castle.  
"We support you, Beckett. We don't miss u :D," wrote guys. I loved their jokes. I wrote back: "I love you too 3"  
"We miss you here. I love you xox your little writer 3" wrote Rick.  
"I love you too."  
I curled up on the bed. I cover with a blanket and closed my eyes.


	21. Chapter 21

The next 14 days were hard. Every day I went to therapy. It helped, but I had to return to the odious experience all the time. I couldn't wait until the afternoon. It was Friday and Rick promised to get me and we were going to enjoy a wonderful weekend together. I put on a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt so he could see that I gained a little. Moreover, thanks to therapy, I was ready to let him touch me more than ever.  
With food it was very difficult in the beginning. I didn't want to eat, or finish the whole meal. They had to feeding me several times by violence. I tried to manage on my own. I ate slowly.

I had lots of time to think. I wanted to give Rick something special for what he had to suffer with me. When he arrived, I ran into his arms. He picked me up and then we kissed with all of our love.  
"Hi. I missed you so much," I said and kissed him again. He looked at me a little surprised, but it was all I want.

"I missed you too. Not only me, Alexis too. Are you ready for the weekend?" he asked. I nodded and hand in hand we went to my doctor to attending. She said Rick has to watch over my food. Right after we went home. Alexis was waiting there. As soon as she saw me, she ran over to me and hugged me tight. She had tears in her eyes. I knelt to her and kissed her on the forehead. She went to the table and took the paper. When she handed it to me and I looked at it, my lips turned into a big smile. She drew herself, Rick and me. Above my figure she wrote "mom". I wiped my tears and I hugged her. Martha was waiting in the kitchen. She hugged me and with Alexis left almost immediately.

"We have an apartment to ourselves?" I asked. Rick nodded and smiled.  
"I noticed that you bear touches so much better. I am proud of you. I love you," he said and I kissed him on the cheek.  
"Therapy helped me a lot. Now I want to go take a shower and then we could get something to eat," I said and giggled. Rick nodded a little shocked. After a quick shower I wore sweatpants and a T-shirt and went into the kitchen, where it smelled wonderfully.  
"It smells wonderful, I cannot wait." I walked around and hugged him from behind.  
"Do you have any idea what you want to do on the weekend?" he asked.  
"We could take a nap, watch TV, eat something good and cuddle?"  
"The best plan, Katherine Beckett," he said in a joking voice. I giggled and kissed him.  
The rest of the evening was beautiful. We were watching a movie and eating pop-corn. We cuddled together than we fell asleep and slept all night like that.


	22. Chapter 22

In the middle of the night I began kicking and screaming around me. Rick shook with me, and when I woke up he hugged me. I hugged him tightly and cried a little to his t-shirt. He stroked me on the back.

"Is it already good?" he asked after a moment. I nodded and we kissed. I lay back on my bed half and grabbed Rick's hand. He held my tight and made little circles on it. When I calmed down, I immediately fell asleep. In the morning we woke up nearly at the same time. For a moment we looked at each other. After an hour, we decided to get up. Rick made breakfast and I went to take a shower. I finished the whole breakfast, I wanted surprise Rick plus I was hungry. Right after breakfast, we got dressed in sports clothes and we went for a walk in the park. We held each other's hand and talked. We spent day with kissing, resting and laughing. In the evening when we were lying on the couch and Rick stroked my hand and kissed my hair, I began to miss Alexis. I turned to Rick and I rested my head on his chest.

"I miss Alexis. Would you call Martha and her said to bring Alexis home?" I asked sadly. Rick looked at me a little startled.  
"I thought we could have an apartment all weekend for ourselves, but if you want, I'll call my mother," he said, kissing me on the cheek. Something I've just remembered. I jumped up from the couch and I ran into the bedroom. I took the picture from Alexis of my nightstand and I ran back into the living room. I almost slipped on the floor, but I didn't fall.

"Are you okay?" Rick asked shocked and pulled me to him on the couch. I sat on his lap and showed him Alexis's image. For a moment he looked at it and smiled.  
"That's nice of her, don't you think? She loves you so much. I never thought that she could have liked someone more than her own mom, who left her after one year her of her life. You're as her mom and you're amazing mom," he said.  
"I'm not her real mom. I cannot just replace her. Castle, I do not think that she would have to call me mom," I said.

"But she will say it, because she loves you so much. Her mom isn't there for her, she's never been interested in her. You love her and you care about her as her own mom, and I love you for it," he said, emphasizing the last words. I smiled and I had tears in my eyes. I kissed him and pushed him to the couch.  
"I love you too, Castle," I whispered into his ear. He stroked me on my back and put me closer to him. We kissed passionately. His tongue asked for permission and I opened my mouth. Our tongues started dancing together. When we parted away, we both were heavily panting. I wanted to rest my head on him, but he pushed me and stood up.

"I'll call mom. By the way, you're amazing kisser and you smell beautiful, baby," said Rick and went into his office. I curled up on the couch and closed my eyes. I wasn't doing anything hard, but I was very tired. I closed my eyes. When I was half asleep, I heard Castle, saying, "My sweet Katherine is so cute when she is sleeping. Why have we had to wait for this so long? We had got together long ago." He put a blanket over me and kissed me on the forehead and then stroked my body on different places. I do not remember where, because I fell asleep.


	23. Chapter 23

I woke up and I immediately smelled breakfast. I wore a robe and went into the kitchen. Rick was preparing breakfast. Alexis sat on the couch wrapped in a blanket and watching TV. I sat next to her and she hugged me.  
"Hi, honey. Is something wrong? You've been very quietly, "I asked anxiously, I stroked her cheek.  
"I'm sick," Alexis said and I nodded, "You have a fever. Try to get some sleep," I said, kissed her on the forehead and went to Rick.  
"Hi," I said.  
"Good morning," he said and we kissed, "So what do you want for breakfast? Fruit, waffles, pancakes or eggs? "  
"I really don't know. I'll have the same as you. In how many hours you have to take me back? "I said my eyes filled with tears. Rick slowly wiped them and kissed me.

"Right after lunch. I look forward to time when I can have you home all the time," he said sadly. I nodded and we hugged. I was a little sad that I had to go back, but I knew that's what I need. Meanwhile, as I was hugging Rick, Alexis fell asleep. I took her in my arms and carried her to her room and I went back into the kitchen. Breakfast was ready on the table. Rick smiled at me and had his hands behind back. I came to him and he handed me a bouquet of roses. I gave him the most beautiful smile and kissed him.  
After breakfast Rick went into his office and began to write. I followed him and I sat across from him.  
"Do you like to watch me?" he asked and stopped writing. I got up, sat in his lap and kissed him.  
"I do. You know, you're really sexy when you are writing," I told him by soft voice in ear and we kissed again, this time with more passion. He stood with me and carried me into the bedroom. He laid me on the bed and climbed on me. He kissed me on the lips and neck. When we broke apart, to catch our breath, Rick looked at me with his serious eyes.

"You still don't want, you know what, do you?" he asked me and I shook my head. He nodded and kissed me again. He lay down next to me and grabbed my hand. I turned to him and rest my head on his chest. He stroked me on the spine and kissed my hair.  
"I'm sorry," I whispered.  
"Don't be. I love you, Kate," he said.  
"I love you too," I replied. We were lying like that until lunch. We held each other's hands and we just creepy stared at each other. It was fun.


	24. Chapter 24

After lunch I packed clean clothes. I said goodbye to Alexis and Martha, who came to look after Alexis. Rick grabbed my hand and we walked to the car. I didn't want to go back. I did not want to be away from Castle and Alexis. When we got to the hospital, we kissed.  
"I'm proud of you. During those three and a half months you have done great progress. After 14 days I'll be right with you and we will be together all the time," he said and we both had tears in eyes. Last time I kissed him and smiled.  
"I love you, Castle," I told him.  
"I love you too. Take care of yourself," he replied. I got out of the car, I took the bag and I waved for goodbye.  
The last 14 days in the hospital were good. I managed to eat normally and through intensive therapy I was healthy and ready to live a normal life again.

Rick came to me with Alexis. Alexis hugged me and I lifted her into the air. I gave her a kiss on the cheek and then I kissed Rick. We went home together. I unpacked my bags and took shower. I ate lunch and went to my apartment. In the kitchen was bouquet of roses waiting for me. I immediately knew who gave them to me.  
Two months since I came back home. I went back to work and normal life. Rick and I worked on our relationship. We were happy together and Alexis started to call me mom. At first I was not sure, but she managed to convince me. Rick gave me the keys from the apartment. It was Friday night and we were celebrating half a year anniversary. Rick cooked dinner, lit candles and scattered petals of roses around the kitchen. I might not seem so but I loved romance. Especially when I was with Rick. I prepared for him an amazing gift.

After dinner we sat on the couch and we were cuddling. Castle stroked my hands and kissed my hair.  
"I want to ask you something," said Castle. I nodded and laid my head on him.  
"Kate, will you move toward me?" he asked quietly. I was surprised and I immediately hugged him.  
"Sure, I will," I replied softly. I took his hand and led him into the bedroom.  
"It's time for my gift for you," I said seductively and bit my lip. Rick quickly overcame a place that separated us and kissed me. We fell together on the bed. I removed his shirt and pants and he took off my shirt, pants, bra and panties. He smiled at me and pulled out a condom from the nightstand.  
"Are you sure?" he asked me. I nodded and I tossed the condom somewhere on the floor bedroom.  
"I'm sure, and I want to feel just you. I want you, Castle," I sighed. Rick took off his boxers and carefully slid into me. He was careful and still was looking into my eyes. When we both came, I was on Rick and quickly panting. He stroked me on the back and whispered into my ear, "I love you".


	25. Chapter 25

Two months had passed. With Rick, we had sex regularly, but he did not push at me, if I did not want. We enjoyed life together. Romantic dinners, watching movies and of course playing with Alexis. Alexis was amazing girl. We celebrated her sixth birthday. She got a lot of gifts. First I was with Rick arguing over a gift for her, but eventually we agreed and together we prepared for Alexis huge birthday surprise. We were one big happy family.  
It was a Wednesday. Since Monday, I was not feeling well, but I was probably tired from work. I went to work out. When I had had a half-hour workout after me, I began to breathe wrong. I sat down and I tried to grab my phone. I couldn't grab it and I fell to the ground and tried to catch my breath.

Meanwhile, Rick came to the precinct. He went after Ryan and Esposito.  
"Hey. Where's Kate?" he asked anxiously.  
"She went to work out, but you should go check on her. There's quite a long time and she is alone there," said Ryan. Rick thanked and went upstairs to the gym. When he saw me lying on the ground, he ran up to me and took me in his arms. He quickly carried me into the restroom at the precinct and put me on a chair. He checked my pulse and stroked my cheek. I looked at him tiredly and I was still trying to catch my breath.  
"How are you, Kate?" he asked and pushed straw in my mouth. I drank some water and I smiled.  
"I can't breathe," I whispered. Ryan and Espo came and sat around us.  
"I'll call an ambulance. I will not take the chance that I can hurt her," said Rick, but Ryan held out his phone and talked to a rescuer.

"They'll be here in 10 minutes. He said that you have to try to breathe slowly," Ryan said as he hung up.  
I tried to breathe slowly, but it was too difficult for me.  
About 10 minutes later the ambulance arrived and took me to the hospital. I got an IV, sleeping pills and oxygen. I fell asleep and Rick held my hand.  
" I take her blood and do tests. We should have results in about three hours. Be there for her and pay attention to her," said the doctor, took my blood and left the room. Castle stroked me on the edge of the face and firmly held my hand. I woke up about two hours later. I was exhausted.  
"Hello, beautiful," Castle whispered and kissed me on the nose.  
"Hi," I replied quietly and we hugged. We heard the knock on the door and doctor walked into the room.  
"Hello. Great, you're awake, because I have the results of your tests," the doctor said and smiled at us. I squeezed Rick's hand and took a deep breath.


	26. Chapter 26

"We found cause of your collapse. You are pregnant. Congratulation!" doctor said. Rick hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. I stared at the doctor and I couldn't say a word. My cheeks were wet from tears and finally I smiled brightly.  
"How far am I?" I asked.  
"I don't know yet. But we'll find out on ultrasound. Now you have to be very careful on yourself. You and baby are fine, but there's still the risk of miscarriage. You were sick because of hormones and heavy physical exertion. Now relax. Then I'll take you for an ultrasound and tomorrow morning you'll be able to go home," he said. I nodded and he left. Rick again hugged me and kissed me.

"Kate, we're having a baby!" he shouted joyfully and I laughed. I invited him into my bed. We were curled up together. Rick stroked me on my new pregnancy belly and kissed my hair.  
"Thank you, Katherine. I love you," he whispered in my ear.  
"I love you too," I whispered still in his arms. Martha came into the room with Alexis. Alexis immediately jumped on the bed and one by one she hugged us. She sat between us on a huge hospital bed and grabbed everyone's hand.  
"Alexis, we would like to tell you something," I said after a moment of silence. Alexis looked at me and smiled. I took her hand and put it on my belly.  
"There is growing your sister or brother," I said with a smile on his face and waited for her reaction. Alexis touched my belly, resting her head on it and gave me a kiss on it.

"Hey, nut," she said happily and hugged me.  
"So we have a name for it until we find out if it's a girl or a boy," said Castle and we all laughed. But Martha didn't. She still stood in the doorway and stared at us.  
"Mom, what's up?" Rick asked, "Are you not happy to have another grandchild?"  
"Do not you think it's too soon? You should think about it. You are only eight months together and need to work on your relationship and ... "  
"Mom, shut up!" Rick screamed Rick, "Kate in any case won't have an abortion. We know it's soon and that we have to work on our relationship, but we can do it even with a baby."  
"Let's try how it is like. I let Alexis here and you two have to take care of her as best as you can," said Martha angry and slammed the door. Me, Rick and Alexis curled up together. I gave Rick a pitying look, and then I smiled at him.


	27. Chapter 27

About an hour later doctor took me for an ultrasound. Alexis and Rick went with me. Rick held my hand and Alexis was at his side. The doctor pulled up my shirt and squeezed some cold gel on my stomach and began to move with the probe.  
"Here," said the doctor pointing at the monitor. There was a small bright dot. We all smiled.  
"Rick, it's so tiny," I whispered tearfully. Rick squeezed my hand and kissed me on the forehead. All three of us looked at the monitor and we observed a baby.  
"You're in the 8th week. Another four weeks you have to be maximum careful on yourself, avoid stress and heavy physical exertion. Congratulations," the doctor said and smiled.  
"Would you like a picture?" she asked. I and Rick nodded. The doctor handed me a napkin so I can clean my belly. I did that and then they took me back to my room. I was a little tired. Alexis sat on the chair and fell asleep.

"Give me a drink, please," I whispered. Rick handed me a drink and I took a long sip. Then he stroked my cheek and kissed me.  
"You should rest," he said and kissed me again. I nodded and closed my eyes.  
The next morning Rick took me and Alexis home. I went right to bed, but I couldn't be in it for too long, because my pregnancy started to work. I was very sick, so I immediately ran to the bathroom and threw up. Rick came to me, made me a ponytail and he was making small circles on my back.  
"Feeling better, honey?" he asked handing me water. I drank and nodded. With his help, I went back to bed. Alexis lay with me and together we read books. Rick was taking photos of us and smiling.

"Daddy, why are you taking pictures of me and mommy?" Alexis asked by her cute voice.  
"Because you both are so cute," he said and then asked us, "Would you like something to eat?" I nodded immediately. When I found out yesterday that I'm pregnant, I started to want more food. Rick loved me for it and made it a pleasure to look after me. Rick cooked meal and gave it to us. Then I and Rick tickled Alexis until she finally fell asleep. Castle took her to her room and came back to me. He climbed on top of me and started to tickle me. I laughed and tried to remove him from me. When he stopped, I fell asleep with a smile on my face and in his strong arms.


	28. Chapter 28

When I arrived the next morning in the kitchen, on the table was a letter for me. It was sent from the courthouse. I opened it and when I finished reading, I was pale in face. Rick stood behind me and took the letter from me. He read it and then hugged me.  
"Don't worry. You can do it," he whispered in my ear. I hugged him tightly and buried my head in his chest.  
"I do not want to go there," I whispered, "I don't want to meet him again. I'll have to go back to what he did to me. It'll be lot of stress for me and I don't want to hurt our little nut."

"I'll be there with you. When you don't like what they are going to ask, you'll go to me and we'll leave. I understand that it will mean for you so much stress, but without your testimony they can't put him behind bars. You made a lot. You overcame a lot of problems. You were on the therapy and you mastered everything. This will not be a problem. Believe me, please," said Rick and kissed me.  
"I love this on you. You can always reassure me. Okay I'll go there," I said and I kissed him again. Our kiss was with more passion and when we broke apart, we both tried to catch our breaths. Alexis came to us. She was rubbing her eyes and yawning.  
"Hi, sweetie," we said together with Rick.

"Hi mom, dad and nut," Alexis said and giggled. Castle served the breakfast and we ate. We spent all day on the couch and we laughed.  
During the next week we uncovered our relationship and my pregnancy, so when that fateful day came, everyone already knew that inside me is growing little human. It was the day when I was supposed to meet with Josh again. Martha was with Alexis at her home, even though she still didn't accept the fact that we are having a baby.

Rick stood by my side and held my hand. I strongly squeezed it and bit my lip. I was really nervous too. I was wearing a black simple dress, over which began to take shape my baby bump. I was talking with Rick and Lanie, when two policemen were coming with Josh in handcuffs. I stood closer to Rick and grabbed his hand. Josh smiled devilishly at us and sent me a kiss. Shivers ran down my spine.

After half an hour I sat in the chair and I answered the questions. I wasn't feeling too well. I was very nervous and I still had one hand resting on my belly.  
"Could you please describe how was the rape," doctor asked the.  
"It was great! She screamed amazingly and fought back! I really liked it!" Josh shouted joyfully.  
"Shut up, you bastard!" yelled Rick, "You have no idea what Kate had to go through to get over it."  
"Do you see it? It happened eight months ago and the bitch is already with another guy and she is pregnant with his baby!" he yelled again. I couldn't take it anymore. My cheeks began to be full of tears. I ran to Rick and he hugged me.  
"Can I take her out?" Castle asked and still held me tightly close to him. The judge nodded.  
"Come on. We're going away," Rick said gently and led me out of the room.


	29. Chapter 29

In the hallway, I slid down and began cry. Rick sat beside me and held me in his arms. He stroked my belly and kissed my hair.  
"How are you feeling?" he asked after a moment. I looked at him with my red swollen eyes and again I snuggled to him.  
"I'm glad you're with me," I replied.  
Two hours later the door of the courtroom opened. Lanie had a smile on her face and immediately hugged me.  
"He's going to prison for five years," she said and I smiled and hugged her.  
"Thank God it's over," I whispered.  
"How are you?" Lanie asked, "Are you okay?"  
"I'm fine. I just couldn't make it anymore what he was saying and the stress of all of it," I answered and I was still smiling.

"So, would you like to go somewhere to celebrate?" Rick asked. I and Lanie nodded and about half an hour later we were sitting at a table in a restaurant. We talked about Josh but not much. Then Lanie asked about the baby and how it takes Alexis. After lunch Rick and I went to the precinct to tell how things turn out. Espo and Ryan were excited. They were still hugging me and touching my stomach.  
"It noticeable," said Espo, "You're getting fat, Beckett." Ryan laughed and I poked both of them in the ribs. I sat down at the table and I did paperwork to the previous case. Rick was sitting in his chair and looked at me constantly.  
In the evening we went home and we watched a movie with Alexis. Rick was lying on the couch, I was lying on him and Alexis was lying next to me and was resting her head near my belly. She whispered to it what was going on in that movie and almost at every sentence she said "nut" until she finally fell asleep.


	30. Chapter 30

About five weeks later ...  
I was 14 weeks pregnant. I started observe changes and my belly began to grow. I threw up almost all the time. Rick was always with me and always trying to calm me. With Alexis and Rick, I spent all my free time. Rick, we tried to give Alexis a lot of attention to not feel left out because of our "nut". We announced my pregnancy to Captain Gates. At first she was not very happy, but when I told her that I will work for as long as I can, she was happy. Over the court with Josh I got pretty quickly.

It was evening and I was lying on the couch and had hands on my tummy. Rick came to me and sat down. I smiled at him, took his hand and placed it on my belly.  
"I think it would like ice cream," I said and giggled. Rick smiled a little tickled me.  
"Again? We should restrain its appetite," said Castle and we both laughed. He then stood up and gave me a big bowl of ice cream. Alexis was in her room and she was asleep.

"When you eat it, what would you say at sexy shower?" he asked me and smirked. I bit my lip and nodded. I finished eating in a moment. In this period, I had no problem with lack of food. I smiled at the thought, and went into the bathroom, where Castle was waiting for me. He helped me undress and then immediately pressed his lips to mine. He stroked me on the back and along the edges of my body up to the belly. We were still passionately kissing and our tongues had war together. Suddenly Rick pressed me against the wall. I instinctively put my legs around his waist, and because we were naked, he slowly slid his erection into me. I gasped and kissed him. He kissed me on the neck. The passion was driving me crazy. I arched my back more against Rick. He held me around the waist and kept penetrating into me slowly. Our moans mingled together. Our lips didn't leave each other's lips. He bit my lip and I smiled. He lifted me up and continued.

"Rick. I. Am. Coming," I moaned. He nodded and quickened our speed. I screamed his name when orgasm hit my body. Rick shouted my name and culminated in me. Then we slumped to the ground together. We both gasped. I rested my head on his chest and snuggled to him. He kissed me on the top of my head.  
"That was great," I whispered softly into his ear and bit my lip.

"One of our best," he whispered back, "That pregnancy makes wonders with you. It's now much more intense and you're so horny and insatiable," he said laughing.  
"Remember, it's because of you, babe," I replied, "I like it now more. Today we still have to practice it so we wouldn't forget it," I said and looked at him very seriously. I could not bear it long because we were started laughing.  
"Come on, whether we can "practice"," he said pointing hands quotes at the last words, "As we probably don't need much training. You're already pregnant." I giggled and embarked warm water on myself.


	31. Chapter 31

When I showered, I lay naked in bed and closed my eyes. I felt Rick's lips on my belly. I smiled and opened my eyes. He kissed my belly and his hands moved into my lap. I bit my lip and he slid into me with one and then another finger. I panted and groan escaped my lips. Rick smiled and rolled his fingers inside me. He made his way to by crotch with kisses. I groaned beneath his fingers work. He wanted to continue with his mouth, but I stopped him.

"Rick. ... I've never let anyone ... ... to be ... so far," I said between moans.  
"If you do not, I will not," he replied softly. I shook my head, and smiled at him. He nodded and circled his fingers around my clit. Then he moved his tongue on it.  
"This night is only yours, Katherine," he whispered as he continued his work. I was panting, moaning and moving my back up and down.  
"Aaahh! Oh my God! Richard, Rick, Richie," I moaned before I climax. Rick smiled and then kissed me. I felt my taste in my mouth and I smiled devilishly.

"Thank you," I whispered a little tired, "Tomorrow I'll return you the favor."  
"No. Don't worry. That was only for you," he answered, then took the blanket and snuggled me into it. I smiled and closed my eyes. Rick kissed me even more before I fell asleep.  
I woke up early. I dressed in pajamas and bathrobe. I walked into the kitchen and cooked breakfast. I made pancakes with whipped cream and fruit. I went into the room to wake up Alexis. She was sleeping wrapped in a blanket and smiling. I took her by the arm and I little shook with her. She woke up and smiled at me. I gave her a kiss on the cheek and went to the door.

"I made breakfast. Come then into the kitchen," I said and went to the bedroom. Rick was already awake and sitting on a bed.  
"Hey," he greeted me.  
"Hi, handsome," I said. We kissed for a while and we were sitting on the bed before we went to kitchen to eat breakfast together with Alexis.


	32. Chapter 32

Two weeks later we went to the doctor for a check. I was a little nervous. When we were sitting in the waiting room, Rick was holding my hand and I was squeezing it. About 10 minutes nurse called us and we went inside. I lay on my bed and my doctor started doing ultrasound. In mid-examination she stopped picture and showed it to us. She put her finger on the screen where was our baby.  
"Here," she said, "It's perfectly fine don't worry." She let the sound and we heard the heartbeat.  
"I could tell you sex if you want," she said. I nodded and Rick too.  
"It seems that you are going to have a beautiful little girl," she said. My eyes were filled with tears and I squeezed Rick's hand. He stroked my face and kissed me.

After check we went immediately to the precinct. We had another case. On the murder board were pictures of the victims and suspects. Almost the whole day I was in the interrogation room. Rick still brought food and tea to me. Every time I thanked him, because it was so cute from him.  
In the afternoon, he went to kindergarten for Alexis and then immediately home. I came home in the evening. The living room and the office were empty. I was a little panicked.  
"Castle! Alexis!" I shouted, but then I heard laugh. Rick held Alexis in his arms and tickled her.  
"Mommy!" shouted Alexis, she ran to me and hugged me. I gave her kiss on the cheek and hugged her back. We cooked and ate dinner together. After dinner, Alexis helped me clean up the dishes and Castle prepared movie. We sat on the couch and I winked at Castle. He nodded. I took Alexis's hand and put it on my belly.

"Do you want to know if you have a sister or brother?" I asked. Alexis thought for a moment and then smiled and nodded.  
"It's a girl," I said with a smile. Alexis got serious and then she gave me a kiss on the belly and hugged me first and then Rick.  
"I'm going to bed," she told us, "Mom, would you put me in bed?" she asked and I nodded. I took her hand and we went into the bedroom. She got into bed and grabbed my hand. I sat on her bed.  
"Will you and dad still love me when the baby is born?" she asked sadly after a moment. I lay down next to her and hugged her.  
"We will always love you, sweetheart. Always," I replied. She smiled and gave me goodnight kiss and I went back into the living room. I told Castle what Alexis said and together we agreed that now we will give Alexis much more attention.


	33. Chapter 33

When I was in the 20th week, my hormones began work and I started to have nightmares and dreams about Josh and him raping me. I woke sweated in the middle of the night. Rick was always asleep, so he never noticed it. I did not tell him anything. I did not want. I had it like that for the third week when I decided to call Neal and order the therapy. So I did it. It was evening before the session and I was lying in bed with Rick. He stroked my belly and I was resting my head on a pillow.  
"Tomorrow, you go to the precinct alone. I need to run some errands," I said and he looked up to me.  
"Okay. Is something wrong?" he asked worriedly and put his arms around my waist. I shook my head. He nodded and kissed me for goodnight. I fell asleep peacefully in his arms. I was glad that that night I didn't have nightmare.

I woke up, dressed up and ate my breakfast. Then I said goodbye to Rick and Alexis and I went to Neal. I sat in the waiting room chair and gently tapped on my belly. Neal called me inside. I sat on the sofa and smiled.  
"I am pleased to see you again, Miss Beckett. I see that you are satisfied and happy. Congratulations, "said Neal and shook my hand.  
"I'm glad I'm here too and thank you," I replied.  
"Tell me what's troubling you," he told me.  
"I have dreams. I have nightmares about Josh. My memories return to my head. Rape and all the bad things I experienced with him," I stammered out of myself and I try hard to hold back tears in my eyes. Neal gave me a tissue and I wiped the tears.

"It's probably your hormones work, but we can talk about it if you want," Neal said and smiled. I nodded. We talked for an hour of my therapy. I've described a lot of those dreams and everything that was happening to me.  
"Neale, could you give me some pills to make it stop?" I asked, "I want to sleep calmly."  
"No. Unfortunately I cannot give you any pills because of the baby's safety. The only thing I can recommend is that you will go to me for therapy at least once or twice a week."  
"Okay."  
"Talk with Richard and your friend. Try to relax a little, think of the little girl you have inside and don't worry. It'll be okay," he said with a smile. I thanked him, we shook hands and then I went to the precinct. I talked with Lanie and we decided that sometimes we have to go shopping and take Alexis with us.


	34. Chapter 34

Two days later me, Lanie and Alexis went to shopping. We went to a children's clothing store so we could select something for the baby. Alexis was talking with us almost all the time and showing pink clothes to us. I've bought several pink clothes and I bought a stuffed elephant for Alexis. All the way home she was playing with it, and when we got home she fell asleep with it in our bed. I cover her with blanket and went back into the living room to Lanie.  
"Lanie, I need to tell you something," I said as I sat on the couch beside her. She nodded. I placed my hands on belly and took a deep breath.

"I have dreams and nightmares about Josh. I've been several times for Neal to therapy. The problem is that I have not told Rick yet and I have no idea how I should tell him," I said with tears in my eyes. Lanie hugged me and put her hand on my belly.  
"Honey, it's okay, do not worry. You can do it. Try to talk with Castle. He loves you and will support you as best as he can," she said to me and hugged me again.  
" I have to go Kate," she said after a pause, "Do not worry. Talk to him and you'll see that it will get better and better," she said, smiling. I smiled back at her.  
A few minutes after Lanie has left, Rick came home. He kissed me, hugged me and gave me two pink rose. I thanked him and smiled. He took Alexis to her room and then we went to take a shower together. At night I had a nightmare. Rick woke me up and hugging me until I fell asleep again.

I woke up to the smell of breakfast. I put on a bathrobe and went into the kitchen. Alexis sat on the couch and ate her oatmeal. I gave her a kiss on the cheek and I wished her good morning. Castle stood in front of me with eggs on the plate and kissed me and he sat down on a chair. I sat on his lap and hugged him around the neck.  
"Katherine? Is something wrong?" he asked solicitously and stroked me on the cheek.  
"I have something to tell you," I whispered. Rick pulled me closer to him and smiled slightly.  
"For about last four weeks I have nightmares about Josh. I wake up in the middle of the night sweating. I started therapy with Neal again. He told me that I should talk to you, but I wasn't sure if you would be angry or not," I whispered tearfully.  
"Why should I be angry? I love you, Kate. I'm glad you told me. Thank you," he said and kissed me. I hugged him and kissed him on the cheek.  
"Thank you," I replied, "I love you too."


	35. Chapter 35

About a week later ... **  
**I was 25th week pregnant so at the beginning of the sixth month. We had a complex and difficult case. We were just trying to catch a killer. I was wearing my bulletproof vest, because of my belly. I ran against this guy and I tried to catch him, he pulled out a gun and pointed it at me. I froze and tried to catch my breath. Esposito came running from behind. He tried to push me back, but the killer shot me to vest just above the belly. Esposito shot him right after and Ryan, who ran a few seconds later, cuffed him. I was lying on the ground writhing in pain. Espo took me into his arms and carried me to the car. He took off my vest and jacket and put a blanket over me.  
"Thanks," I whispered and I put my hands on belly.

"Sure. Do you want me to take you to the hospital?" he asked and before I could reply he continued, "I do not know why I was even asking. Let's go," he said and encouragingly smiled at me. I nodded and closed my eyes.  
I woke up in the hospital. Rick sat with me and held my hand. When he noticed that I was awake, he stroked my cheek and kissed me. I smiled at him.  
"Hi. How do you feel?" he asked me and still gently squeezed my hand.  
"I'm fine. How is the baby?" I asked in a weak voice and I sat.  
"Don't worry. The tests went well. Our little girl is fine," he answered and kissed me again.  
"I wanna go home," I whispered.  
"The doctor has to come to check, and then we can go home," he said and he smiled at me, "Lanie pick up Alexis from school, and she's at home with her." I nodded and smiled. I stroked my belly and covered myself with a blanket.

About half an hour later I went with Rick home. I was looking out the window and I had hands on belly. When we arrived home, Alexis ran to me and hugged me. Lanie hugged me too and looked at me.  
"Don't worry Lanie. We are fine," I answered her unspoken question. Lanie nodded, said goodbye to Alexis and left. I sat on the couch with Alexis and Rick sat next to us.  
"Mommy, is sister okay?" asked Alexis and put her hands on my belly.  
"You do not have to worry. She's okay," I said and smiled at her and stroked her on the hair.  
"Alexis, we would like to talk with you about the name for the baby," Rick said, "Do you have a suggestion or a name that you like?"  
Alexis thought about it and then took a breath.


	36. Chapter 36

"I like Johanna Emily," Alexis whispered grabbing my hand. I closed my eyes because I remembered my mom. Rick knew what bothers me and grabbed my other arm.  
"If you do not like it, we can agree with Alexis on something else," said Castle and squeezed my hand. I tried to hold back my tears.  
"Why do you like this name?" I asked. Alexis smiled at me and pointed to a photo in a frame where I am with my mom.  
"My grandmother was very pretty. My father talked about her several times and told me so much. I think it would be nice and that the grandmother would liked it too," she said and sat closer to me. I hugged her and gave her a kiss in her hair.  
"I like this. You are our little angel," I whispered in her ear and hugged her again.

"So we have a name! Johanna Emily. Beautiful name and I'm sure that it will definitely suit her," said Rick and got up from the couch," Who wants ice cream?!" Castle asked cheerfully. Alexis and I are just nodded. We cuddled together on the couch and we were covered up with a blanket. When Castle gave us bowls with ice cream, we watched the movie and we happily ate. I fell asleep during the movie.  
"Daddy, mom fell asleep," Alexis whispered.  
"You should go to bed too. Then I will help Kate to bed," he said. They went together to her room and shortly after that, Alexis fell asleep. Rick returned to the living room to me. He took me gently by the arm and shook with me. I woke up and I tiredly smiled at him. He gave me hand and helped me get up.

"I do not want to carry you now, I do not want to hurt Johanna," Rick whispered and slowly led me into the bedroom. I lay in bed and I snuggled into blankets. Rick lay down beside me and hugged me with one hand. He pulled me closer to him and kissed me on the cheek. I smiled at him and yawned. Rick brushed my hair back from my face and shoved it behind the ear. I yawned again. I put my head on the pillow and closed my eyes.  
"Sleep, my beautiful. After a day like this one, you really deserve it," he whispered into my ear and kissed me on the forehead. I nodded and before I fell asleep, I felt his lips on mine.


	37. Chapter 37

The next week with Rick we celebrated first year anniversary. We agreed to stay home and my dad said that he will take care of Alexis because Martha still didn't want to talk to us. She was still angry because of the fact that we are going to have a baby so soon. But we were happy and we did not want to change anything in it.  
It was Wednesday evening. Alexis was already gone. She was a bit sad that she had to go, but finally agreed. She took her teddy elephant with her. I put on a light blue dress and I went into the kitchen. Rick stood at the table and stared at me with his mouth open. I giggled and walked toward him. He was wearing a blue shirt and pants. Everywhere in the kitchen were candles and on the table was ready dinner.

"Why are you staring at me?" I asked him with a smile on my face. Rick pulled me to him and kissed me passionately.  
"You look wonderful," he whispered in my ear and kissed me again.  
"You are not so bad yourself," I said and poked him in the chest. We sat down at the table and ate dinner together. After dinner we sat on the couch and I snuggled to him. Rick pushed me away and got up from the couch. I looked at him and I stood up too. Castle knelt in front of me and pulled out a ring from his pocket. I stared at him in shock and I put my hands on belly.

"Kate, we went through hell together. We have overcome a lot of obstacles. We have had good seasons and bad, but now we are finally together and we are happy. I love you with all my heart and I cannot imagine my life without you. You're a mom to Alexis and under your heart you are carrying our little Johanna. So Katherine Houghton Beckett, will you marry me?" he asked me in a firm voice. I had tears in my eyes. Rick stood up and deeply looked into my eyes.  
"Richard Edgar Alexander Rodgers Castle, yes. I'll marry you," I whispered back. He gave me ring and kissed me. I hugged him and I burst into tears. Rick pulled me as close as he could and then he kissed me.  
"I love you," I whispered into his ear.  
"I love you too," he said back.

"I'm going to get changed and then we can cuddle on the couch," I said and smiled. Rick nodded and I went into the bedroom, where I changed into a T-shirt and sweatpants. Castle walked into the bedroom and changed his clothes too. Eventually we ended up huddled together in bed. Rick stroked my tummy.  
"I've got one more surprise," he said after a few minutes.  
"What?!" I squeaked, "I still didn't give you even a gift and you are already giving me another?"  
"You gave me the most beautiful gift that you could give me. You gave me yourself, Johanna, and you're mom to Alexis," he said kissing me. I nodded.

"Kate, we can get married this Saturday in the Hamptons. I made almost everything. I've got the dress for you. I have all the decorations. I asked your dad and my mom. Alexis, of course, will be there too. I said it to Lanie, Ryan, Esposito and Gates. They understood that we want to do it only in the family circle. Now I'm just asking you if you agree with this offer," he said grabbing my arm. I sat on the bed and I looked surprised at him. In me was mixing anger, because he did not say anything sooner. But I was happy because he managed to arrange everything. I nodded and kissed him. We spent the entire night in the each other's arms. Castle was stroking my belly before I fell asleep and held me close to him.


	38. Chapter 38

All week was revolved around preparations for the wedding. Castle showed me my dress and I was absolutely thrilled because it was exactly what I wanted to have. They were long just below the knees in white color with beautiful lace. It fit me perfectly and as soon as I saw it, I fell in love with it. Alexis had a similar dress as me. But hers was pale pink. He was surprised when Martha accepted the invitation. On Friday afternoon we packed up and we went to Hamptons. That evening I even practiced my vow.  
On Saturday morning I woke up early. Rick was still asleep. I didn't want to wake him up, so I went into the kitchen and I made myself a cup of tea. I sat on the couch and turned on the television. I was thinking about our future that awaited us. I felt his lips on my neck. I turned around and smiled at Rick. He sat beside me and took my hand.

"Is something wrong?" he asked softly.  
"No. I was just thinking about our future and about everything that awaits us," I said and we kissed. Castle then got up and made breakfast for everyone. We all ate together and then we split into our rooms. Alexis and Martha were in my room and helped me with my hair and dress. My dad was with Rick and asked him to care of me and Johanna, to love us and never hurt us.  
When we had all finished and everything was ready, I went downstairs and my dad grabbed my arm.

"You look beautiful, Katie," he said and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I thanked him and we went into the garden, where Rick and registrar were already waiting for us. Alexis and Martha stood aside and had tears in their eyes. I walked over to Rick and I stood across from him.  
"Shall we begin?" asked the registrar. We both nodded and smiled at each other. I took the ring from my sleeve and slipped it to Rick's finger.  
"The moment that I met you, my life became extraordinary. You taught me to be my best self, to look forward to tomorrow's adventures. And when I was vulnerable, you were strong. You helped me go through hell, but we did it because we were together. I love you, Richard Castle. And I want to live my life in the warmth of your smile and the strength of your embrace. I promise you I will love you. I will be your friend and your partner in crime and in life, Always." 

Rick took the ring and slipped it on my finger.

"The moment we met, my life became extraordinary. You taught me more about myself than I knew there was to learn. You are the joy in my heart. You're the last person I want to see every night when I close my eyes. I love you, Katherine Beckett. And the mystery of you is the one I want to spend the rest of my life exploring. I promise to love you,  
to be your friend, and your partner in crime and life, till death do us part, and for the time of our lives."

"By the power vested in me by the state of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You can kiss," said the registrar. Rick pulled me to him and kissed me. After the toast, he took me aside. He grabbed me around the waist and kissed me.  
"Mrs. Castle, may I have this dance?"  
"There is no music," I whispered. He took out his cell phone and our song In my veins began play. He held me close to him, and together we danced and swayed to the rhythm of the song.  
"It's perfect," I whispered into his ear. He smiled at me and continued to dance. We danced most of the evening, before I began to be tired. When I got with Rick into bed, we held each other in a tight hug and we fell asleep in this position.


	39. Chapter 39

I was 34 weeks pregnant. For two days I was not feeling very well and I had a little pain, but I ignored it because doctor said that we're both okay a week ago. Little Johanna was kicking a lot and she seemed to be satisfied and happy baby who was still lying in my tummy. Alexis still touched a stroked me on my stomach and talked with Johanna. Rick cared a lot about me and didn't let me do pretty much things. He was annoying with that but cute at the same time. Several times I wet myself. Castle always helped me to dress up and held me until I fell asleep again. We had a waterproof pad under sheet. I felt terrible and embarrassed.

I was sitting at a table at the precinct and I doing the papers. Gates left me at the table since my accident. Ryan and Esposito always made fun of me and said I looked like a hippo. Johanna kicked me and I grabbed my stomach.  
"Are you okay, Beckett?" Ryan asked and I nodded.  
"Pack your things and go home. You should get some rest. We'll finish this here," said Espo. I thanked them, packed my things and I went home to Rick. He greeted me by a tight hug and a kiss on the cheek.  
"Where is Alexis?" I asked when I searched the room.  
"Mom took her to her place so we could have time for ourselves. Do you happy?" he asked excited and hugged me. I laughed and nodded.

"I'm just a little tired. I'll go take a shower and I think I'll go to bed," I said and yawned. Castle kissed me and together we went to the bedroom. I undressed and showered myself. I lay in bed to Rick and hugged him.  
"Did you have a busy day?" he asked me.  
"Hm."  
"Take a rest. You deserve it," he said and kissed my hair," Would you like a dinner?"  
"No," I whispered wearily and only snuggled closer to him. He covered me with blanket and gave me a kiss to my hair again. I closed my eyes and I hugged him tightly. That's how we fell asleep together. I woke up at about 2 o'clock in the morning. I had a wet spot beneath me. I shook with Rick and he woke up. Immediately he realized what it was and hugged me. I started crying on his shoulder and he hugged me tighter.

"Shh. Do not cry. This has already happened to you. Do not cry. Take a deep breath and try to smile at me," he said stroking my cheek. I wiped my tears and smiled slightly. I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. I cleaned up and I went naked back to Rick. He handed me a clean shirt and panties. I got dressed and he stroked me on the belly. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain and I almost fell. Rick luckily grabbed me and sat me on the bed.  
"What's happening?" he asked horrified.  
"My water's broke," I whispered and I felt tears in my eyes.  
"Don't cry. We're going to the hospital," he ordered and took me in his arms. I was already crying hard and I firmly clung to him.  
"It's still early. She should stay in at least a month," I whispered through tears before another wave of pain hit my body.


	40. Chapter 40

**FINAL CHAPTER**

When we got to the hospital, they took me to the room. My contractions slowed, so I had more time to rest. Rick sat next to me in bed and held me in his arms. We heard a knock on the door and doctor walked into the room. He checked me and smiled.  
"You need not worry. Your baby will be fine, although it's still early. You have a strong girl in you. You are dilated for about three centimeters, so it will take a long time. If you'd like, I can tell nurse to give you an epidural and something to sleep. It can take 10 hours or more," he said the doctor and I widened my eyes at him. I did not know I could be in labor that long.

"For that long?!" I screamed and he nodded.  
"Kate, let them give you the epidural so you take some rest," Rick said and hugged me.  
"I don't want to hurt Johanna," I whispered.  
"Now I will not hurt the baby," the doctor said.  
"Okay," I said finally. I started to be tired and wanted to sleep. The doctor left and soon a nurse came and gave me an epidural. I thanked her, and I snuggled to Rick.  
"Try to take little rest," Rick whispered in my ear and kissed my hair. I nodded and closed my eyes.  
I woke up about four hours later when the epidural started to stop work. Martha was sitting in chair and next her was sitting Alexis. Both were smiling. Rick was sitting in the chair next to my bed and holding my hand.

"Hey everyone," I said in a weak voice.  
"Hi, mom!" Alexis shouted and hugged me.  
"Hi, sweetheart," Martha said to me.  
"So, how are you feeling?" Rick asked.  
"I'm not that tired as before, but the epidural is not working anymore. I'm starting to feel contractions again," I replied.  
"Doctor will be here in a moment and he will check if it's everything okay. We will work together and we will calculate the time between contractions, okay?" Rick said, and squeezed my hand. I nodded, screamed in pain and strongly squeezed his hand. He immediately looked at his watch and waited. The doctor came and checked me.

"You're dilated for 7 cm. That's great. I'll come back in two hours and then we will probably take you to the delivery room," he told me," What is the time between contractions?" he asked Rick.  
"We don't know. Kate woke up just a little while ago," said Rick staring at his watch.  
Two hours later the doctor came back. Martha and Alexis waited in the hall, so I could have quiet.  
"Delay is 2 minutes," said Rick to doctor. I only smiled and I concentrated on breathing. I already was sweaty and tired.  
"Good, so now we will take you to the delivery room and get your girl out," the doctor said with a smile. I wanted to nod, but I had another contraction.  
About 10 minutes I was lying in the delivery room and I tried to catch my breath. Rick stood beside me and held my hand. He was holding a napkin and wiped the sweat from my forehead.

"When you have the next contraction, I need you to try to push," said the doctor away from my legs. I nodded, and at the next contraction I pushed.  
"Push again," doctor shouted at me, "We're running out of time. We have a complication. We have to get the baby out as soon as possible," he added in a whisper, but I heard him and I started to worry.  
"You'll make it," Rick whispered in my ear, and wiped my forehead. I strongly pushed five times and I've tried to breathe.  
"I can see the head. Three more and she will be out," said the doctor. I did as he said. I felt that Johanna is out, but I did not hear her crying and I looked frightened at Rick.  
"Why is she not crying?" I asked barely audibly, before I passed out from lack of oxygen. The doctors gave me an oxygen mask and took me back to my room. Rick waited until he could finally see Johanna. He picked her up and showed her to Lanie, Javi, Ryan, Gates, my dad and Martha. Alexis hasn't seen her little sister yet, because she was asleep on Martha's lap. Castle still held Johanna and walked towards my room.

"Look, mommy is awake," he said to Jo, seeing that I have open eyes and I'm smiling at him.  
"Rick," I whispered and reached out my arms to him. Rick gave me Jo in my arms and sat down next to me.  
"How are you feeling?" he asked me.  
"Sore and tired," I said and I looked at Johanna, "She's so beautiful and so tiny and lightweight," I breathed. Rick nodded and kissed me.  
"As soon as she got out, you passed out. But our princess's probably sensed and started to cry. Even she is tiny and lightweight, she is perfectly fine," Rick told me with a smile and tears in his eyes. I nodded and gave my daughter a kiss on the forehead. The door opened and there stood Alexis. As soon as she saw me, she ran over to me and sat down on my bed.

"Alexis, we'd like you to meet your little sister Emily Johanna Beckett Castle," I whispered.  
"She's beautiful," Alexis said stroking Johanna's head.  
"I love you," Rick said, and kissed me. Then he gave a kiss Alexis on her cheek and one kiss to sleeping Johanna in my arms.  
"I love you too," I said as him I gave Alexis kiss on forehead and then another kiss to Johanna. Rick was hugging us all and keep us firmly close to his body. We were family. A huge and happy family. We're always here for each other. Always.

 **THE END**


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